u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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