i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
