After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
