i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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