New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
