Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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