he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
