I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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