Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it because I queefed?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
