i love accidental penises.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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