Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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