Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i wish my penis had a tongue
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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