I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
