Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
