Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
