I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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