So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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