she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
