At least make sure they are 18
Why
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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