My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
