This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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