i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
