Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
