They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
