Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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