for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She bit a glass in half.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize