Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
