I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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