I'm drive I can fine osifer
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
