Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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