ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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