you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
