I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize