dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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