Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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