this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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