Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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