Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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