I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
