Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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