you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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