fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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