I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
