Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
