They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
