Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
