well you can't waste a boner
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
