why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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