Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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