Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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