Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
