my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think i peed on brittanys purse
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
