She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
