Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
