The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
