Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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