I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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