would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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