Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
