He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
